poq place

creative detritus

0 notes

conversations with angostura

angostura:
Boss walks in and conversation turns to chainmail for some reason. Mardi-Gras beads guy says that his mail shirt isn't that heavy, but it's aluminum and just for show.
angostura:
"MISSING THE ONLY POINT OF CHAINMAIL SON"
poq:
Nah, despite being made of aluminum I'm sure it wards away women just fine.
angostura:
Keeping that gene pool safe for me to swim in.
poq:
When are you submitting your [notice of resignation?]
poq:
Nail it to the front door, Martin Luther style.
angostura:
Nail the secretary, Martin Luther King style.

Filed under angostura conversations martin luther martin luther king mlk work nerds

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dismaybe
adv. in particular cultures, a common way of saying “no” that attempts to save face but merely postpones the other party’s disappointment, ensuring that the only face saved is that of the Okay Guy.

Filed under defauxnitions

6 notes

conversations with angostura

poq:
AND NOW, a chronicle of your hopes and dreams: http://youtu.be/drzolwYIOe0
angostura:
my life is a long series of amusing failures, a tale told by a gourmand, full of lipids and gristle.
poq:
Faulkner would be proud. Or perhaps Fauxner.
angostura:
fo would Fhakesfpeare
poq:
O, you're right. Like a stœl, I merely picked up on Sound and Fury - William Faulkner (feat. Bill Shakes).mp3 .
angosutra:
ah yeah, we used to do exercises to that remix in gymme classe when i was a wee rapscallion!
poq:
Same playlist as Ancient of Days - Bill Blake (feat. YHWH).mp3

Filed under angostura conversations insults

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inflectious

adj. possessing a particularly delightful accent, a quaint turn of idiom and phrase that lures conversational partners into wanting to adopt it — to try it on like a vocal coat that sheathes a conversation with personality, with spark, with an exotic hint of an imagined past.

Filed under defauxnitions

2 notes

conversations with angostura

poq:
[pancakes's stoolish self-promoting post] makes me want to quit facebook, but then that's sort of like saying that you're into autoerotic asphyxiation because you can't stand to breathe the same air as him.
angostura:
i'm sure if you made a "i want to quit facebook cuz of [pancakes]" group, you would see the a diaspora from his group to yours, making the african diaspora look like a fire drill in a 2-flat.

Filed under angostura conversations

6 notes

You. Reading This. Now.

Cliched. Contrived. Condescending.

You despise all these things, but you can’t tear your eyes away. 

Introducing: UrbanDaddy’s writing style. 

You’ve always wanted to be talked to like a petulant child by someone using the royal “we”, and every time an UrbanDaddy email hits your inbox, you clap your hands with glee (though you’ve also been known to thump your chest like an ape). 

Now. You can. Read ad copy littered with periods. Which imbues it with the flow of an worn 60’s animatronic actor trying to rap.

But we already know you knew that.

Filed under urbandaddy ruralmommy parody